Part 2: New Mom, New Country: Keri Bloomfield's Authentic Take on Life in Denmark

00:00:07 - Jacklyn Beck Welcome back to my kids think I'm cool but podcast. I'm your host, Jacklyn. This is part two, where my guest continues to share their journey while living abroad from starting up a business, changing careers, or finding themselves in a different country. I hope this part two inspires you all find your path in a foreign country. Listen, laugh and enjoy these stories that we give you while living abroad. Hi and welcome back to part two of Carrie Bloomfield's story about living in Denmark and also how she came about writing a book about her life in Denmark. I really wanted to share this part just a little bit about her book and also her journey on why she wrote it. And I think she really shares her opinion of living in Denmark. We all have our own different opinions, but also why she wrote it. And it's interesting in how she followed through on writing the book. And I think that's really great that she mentioned on our interview that she really just went on social media and said, I'm going to write this book without even writing a book. And she knew that she had to be accountable for that, what she says. And there was people following up how's the book going and everything. And now she had to write it because she already mentioned it online. So it was really nice to hear that instead of just getting started with her book, she just said that she's going to do it and that's how she promoted that she was doing it. So it was like the whole process of actually releasing the book. But I'll stop talking about that. I will get into the interview because it's really interesting and what she shares and how she got her book published and everything. So I hope you guys enjoy the interview. When you moved to Denmark, what did you do before you moved to Denmark, what did you do in New Zealand? 00:02:18 - Keri Bloomfield So in New Zealand, I started my career working in event management. So I worked for a couple of different event management companies, organizing all types of different corporate and public events, and then that along the years moved into more a people management role. So my last I worked at the Human Resources Institute of New Zealand for many years and that kind of set me on a bit of a different path to more managing people, which is something that I think I'm good at and that I enjoy. But when I came to Denmark, of course I didn't have the language, so I had to do a bit of reinventing of myself, I guess, and it took me a bit of a while to work that out as well. But that led me down the path of writing more. I've always written, but until I moved to Denmark, I guess I didn't feel like I had a purpose to write or a story to tell. 00:03:11 - Jacklyn Beck So moving to Denmark lead you to writing. But you did it before, though, in New Zealand, but more like a hobby, right? 00:03:19 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah, more like a hobby. Because I had a full time career, it was easy to find work in New Zealand. People knew me, they knew what I could do. So I had a lot of different types of roles in New Zealand, working from government to not for profit organizations to event management companies. And writing was a small part of that. I was always the person that would be writing the e newsletters. I was the person that would be writing difficult emails to people when maybe they were upset or we hadn't performed what we said we were going to do. And I wrote a few articles for various magazines there as well. And I really enjoyed it. But, yeah, I think my life was full with my career, my full time job. 00:04:02 - Jacklyn Beck Did you think when you moved to Denmark, it would be easy to get back on your feet or find a job? 00:04:08 - Keri Bloomfield I thought it would be easier than what it is. I think unless you're an engineer or some other profession that's on the skill shortage list, it's hard. And again, everyone experiences something different. But I know for me, the skills or strengths that I was using in New Zealand weren't that applicable here. And also, when you first move somewhere, you don't have local work experience. If there's a different language involved, that's another challenge to overcome. So for me, it was difficult to find work. It remains something that is challenging and I see a lot of other internationals also struggling with that. And again, I think this is something so good that we talk about and normalize that it is difficult to find work as an international. For many of us, some are lucky to fall on their feet, some are engineers and probably have no idea what I'm talking about right now. But it is hard, so important, to try and hunt out the people that can help you through that process. 00:05:10 - Jacklyn Beck Yeah. And I think there's a lot of internationals out there that, like you said, get a job like this and then, like, any other person would struggle or even change career. Because if you're a doctor in New Zealand, your degree doesn't transfer over and you need to have the language and everything. And so I find that a lot of people, especially in the health industry, they're not willing to take the two years they already took seven years of education, so they're like, I'll find something else or I'll freelance or I'll do something else. So it's not easy, especially with the language. 00:05:46 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah, exactly. 00:05:48 - Jacklyn Beck When was the moment where you just kind of like, I'll just do something on my own. This is a really great way for me to write a book. Or when did that moment when you decided, like, I'm going to write a book about my life here in Denmark? 00:06:03 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah, that was probably at the four year mark, is when I realized that. So it's not to give the wrong impression that I moved to Denmark and turned into an author and it was all unicorns and rainbows. It was nothing like that whatsoever. Because I also have the pressure of my family reunification permit that I have to be employed for four years and that can be self employment, but when you first move somewhere, that's perhaps a bit harder route to take initially. So I had been sitting in a job for four years that I was perhaps underemployed in. I wasn't using my top skill set and that suited me fine at that point in time because I had a young daughter, young child, and I was also going to language school for pretty much the first three years or had private lessons. So learning the language in a young child, so that suited that period of time and I'm incredibly thankful for that role. But we were back in New Zealand, 2019, January 2019, and we were sitting on the plane about to leave New Zealand, had a great four weeks there. And as I was sitting on the plane, the words, it's a really emotional time, particularly when you're from New Zealand, because that is not a destination you can just visit in the weekend. The reality is that most of us who live between Europe and New Zealand is at best, we get back every two years. It's a lot of money, a lot of time, and if you go, the minimum is really three weeks more. Ideally, you'd want to be there for four to five weeks to try and get some normality there. So when I'm sitting on that plane, I know that it's going to be another at least two years. This is 2019. So I was also quite naive because I didn't realize the pandemic was coming up and that the New Zealand government was going to close the borders and make it pretty much impossible for New Zealanders living abroad to return home, even if you had an emergency. So I was sitting on that plane thinking about that it was going to be another two years. So I'm going from this really comfortable environment where I know the country, I know the language, I know my way around, and I'm heading back to my life in Denmark, which at that point wasn't flourishing. And the words make it count jumped into my head, like, so loudly. Make it count. Make it count. If you have to live in another country, so far away from the country that I've grown up in, then I need to make it count. I need to turn these challenges into my unique advantage. At that point, I was writing. I had a blog. Bilingual backpack, baby. So I was doing a lot of writing. I was very active on social media. I had attracted, and still do have a really nice group of people who resonated with not only my story, but also my sense of humor. And that's all lovely and great, and it's a great way to practice writing, but very much aware that wasn't long lasting. So social media is here today, gone tomorrow, and unless you're somebody who just thrives off going viral for no reason, like, what is the greatest purpose behind that? So I wanted to create something that was going to be here when I wasn't here. And I wanted to use my writing in a way that could also help others. So that was the moment that I knew I was going to write a book. And that was the beginning of setting myself that intention. And also just knowing, like, I just knew I was going to do it. It was just such a strong, I guess, calling that this is what I needed to do. And that was the beginning of nothing like a Dane being born. 00:09:44 - Jacklyn Beck Yeah. And it's really nice that you were able to kind of like, okay, all the stuff that I'm going through, you can just write down and have someone else relate to it. If you lived in New Zealand, you wouldn't never have had that epiphany of writing about living in New Zealand or living in New Zealand. It's like, it will be like any other book. But this is kind of your point of view, your experience that you're sharing, and it takes a lot of courage and also yeah. To share yourself because it's scary to share yourself to the public, what you're going through those things because you second guess yourself. It's like, is someone else going through this too? So how did you know that? To find the confidence to say, like, I'm going to write this because I was just going to have that moment too. 00:10:34 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah. I think when I first started writing, I was just concentrating on writing my story in the best way that I could. So I wanted it to be a book with purpose. I didn't want it to be another Danish fluff story. One of my traits is about keeping it real. So I'm not into clickbait or fancy headlines just to get the like so it's so important to me to be authentic and unique. So when I was in the writing process, that's what my focus was on, was just being honest. And it does surprise me, I guess now, after people read the book, a comment that I often get is, wow, you were so honest, and like, well, of course I was. I'm not going to make up stuff in there. So I just concentrated on writing the story. And I think at the end of the process, when we're getting into the editing phase, when I could see my publication date looming, then I started to have some concerns there. How are people going to react to this? Because of course, we all experience things differently. We all interpret them differently. And the book is my story, and not everyone might resonate with it. But overall, again, I just had this knowing that I had to do that and I wanted to put it out there and for people to also enjoy it. It should be an enjoyable read. I want people to laugh when they're reading it, but through humor. I want them to also know, particularly other internationals living here in Denmark, that they're not alone. So they're not the only one finding it difficult and challenging at times. And that's been a huge amount of feedback. I get a couple of emails or direct messages every week, and this is what people are saying to me. Like, thank you so much for putting in towards what I've been through. I knew those people were out there, but perhaps I didn't realize how many of us were out there. Yeah. 00:12:29 - Jacklyn Beck I like the fact that you put in real case scenarios that you've been through because I remember reading the first paragraph about walking into the gym and you're just like, no one in New Zealand walks around naked. It's not possible. I always thought that was just me as an American, but that's just like, oh, my gosh. And I talked to more people about it. Just like, yeah, that was also, like, eye opening with me with a group of women just having coffee in the gym, in the locker room and just talking. Which took a lot like me to just kind of make my eyes a little bit smaller because I looked very surprised, like headlights. And it's funny. It's because I was taking my mom in the first time to the gym and I forgot to warn her because I've been living in Denmark for so long. It's an everyday thing for me. And I just remember my mom's mouth just dropped. I'm just like, oh, yeah. Oh, sorry, I forgot. Normal for all women to armin to just around naked. I've heard in Germany it's unisex, so. 00:13:39 - Keri Bloomfield It can get worse. Okay, we're not moving to Germany. 00:13:44 - Jacklyn Beck Yeah, I had that moment in Germany where I thought I walked in the wrong locker room. And the guy was like, no, you're in the right locker room. Women and men that could walk around naked here. I was like, yeah, I'll be not coming to this gym again. 00:13:58 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah. And you know what? It's great that some people find it empowering when they move here to Denmark to find themselves in this situation. It's not something that I'm empowered by. And actually, it stopped my days of swimming in Denmark because I just can't handle the changing room. And it's not that I'm saying that it's wrong, but it's just simply not where I'm comfortable. So when you come to this bigger picture of integration, where's that line? Because if I'm not comfortable doing something, why should I do it? Why should I push myself through it? So that's something that I choose not to do. And I feel I don't need to prove myself. I'm old enough now. I don't need to prove myself to anybody. So if it's other people are empowered by that situation, if other people are used to it, that's great. It's not for me. But it is also recently, just a few weeks ago, there was a story that came out of Australia. So not New Zealand, but Australia and New Zealand are somewhat similar in many respects. And it was about a surf life saving club, I think, a swimming club, banning nudity in their changing rooms. So adults had had warnings that they couldn't be completely naked in the changing room when children were in there. And I just thought, whoa. Now I'm offended on the other side, because that is wrong, too. What we're sending out is a message is that the human body isn't normal. So I found myself outraged on the other side of the nudity fence. Funnily enough with that. 00:15:24 - Jacklyn Beck It's gotten worse. I don't know if you've seen in the US. They had a teacher that showed a statue of, like, David because it had human parts, min parts on there. 00:15:39 - Keri Bloomfield His Dillaman. 00:15:40 - Jacklyn Beck Yeah, Dillaman was on there. And the principal got fired for it. 00:15:45 - Keri Bloomfield For I did read that, yeah. 00:15:47 - Jacklyn Beck Allowing a photo of a statue in Europe to, I don't know, third graders or something like that, end up like it and then protested against it. And now that person is the principal. Is let go. Wow. But I think about it, I was like, if I didn't live in Denmark, where would I be? On the fence there? Would I be like, no, that's bad. If I was still living in the US. Like, I don't want my daughter to see Dillaman all over the place. Now, living in Denmark, you just see it's a normal thing in TV everywhere. On children's TV, obviously, and also at school. 00:16:28 - Keri Bloomfield I don't know if it's the same for your daughter, but my daughter's school, when they do physical education, when they have their sports lessons, they are all showering together after that. So in communal showers. So it starts there. I'm not entirely sure it's necessary. I wouldn't want to do it again. But I can't let those opinions, I can't share those in front of my daughter because I don't want her to be colored by what I'm not comfortable with. But without me even saying anything, she does say that she doesn't enjoy it that much, but it's the way that it's done, and that's the way that everyone does it. 00:17:00 - Jacklyn Beck Yeah. And I think that's how it's been culturally in Denmark. Like, nakedness is not a big deal. I remember when I first visit my husband, I was with his parents, and he was working, and I was just staying with his parents. And then all of a sudden we were watching a TV show, and it was just a bunch of men jumping in the lake and they were all naked. And I was like, you're allowed to show Dillon here public TV that's around my eyes and I got all uncomfortable. I'm with parents and I'm looking at penises everywhere. 00:17:37 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah, it's quite the change. 00:17:41 - Jacklyn Beck So that was my introduction of Denmark, New Zealand. 00:17:47 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah. Welcome to Denmark. 00:17:50 - Jacklyn Beck Right, we got a little bit off topic. 00:17:53 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah, we did. 00:17:55 - Jacklyn Beck So when you decided to write your book and get it published, what was your steps really getting it out there to the public for people to know that you wrote your experience about Denmark? 00:18:11 - Keri Bloomfield One of the earliest pieces of advice I got was that as I'm writing the book, I need to grow my social media following. So that when the book was finished, I had a ready made audience there who already knew my style and they would be there to purchase the first copies and be my first group of cheerleaders, I guess, to take it even further. So that was definitely part of my strategy as I was writing it. I was also trying to put out enough material on social media that was funny, entertaining, but also useful as well. So for other internationals that are moving here in Denmark, so with my posts, that's the formula that I follow is that it should be real, it should offer a moment of humor in there, but it should actually have something that's helpful as well. So that was definitely part of my strategy. The other part of my strategy was holding myself publicly accountable. So right at the beginning of the process, I was a guest on another podcast and I stated my intention to the world that I was writing this book. And that was right back at the beginning. I hadn't even written the first chapter, but by going out there and being public about it and then following up through social media, I was always giving updates of where I was in that process that made sure that I keep going. Because for sure, when you tackle something like writing a book, it is really easy to give up. Like, oh, it's all too hard, doesn't matter, I won't do it. I'll put it in the bottom drawer like so many other people have done. So again, I didn't have a chance to stop doing it because I told the whole world that I was doing it, so I had to finish it. Right? So those were a couple of key decisions to make sure that I followed through. But in terms of the actual process, the other thing that I knew I wanted to do was create a book or do it to the highest level I could. I really wanted to smack this out of the park. So that means investing in the process as well. So right at the beginning, I found an editor who helped me come up with a bit of a plan for the book. So coming up with one of the first things she said was, do a list of chapters. How are you going to tell the story? So that gets you to focus on the structure of the book. So I did that and I wrote the first chapter and then sent it to her, and she came back with all her feedback at that point. And that gave me enough confidence and knowledge, because this is not something that I had done, but I had not written a book before this one that gave me enough knowledge to go through with the process then and write the rest of the book and then check in with my editor at the end. So an editor is essential, I think. And that is something that I invested in early on in the process and was with me there for the entire process there as well. And then once the book was written, I shared it with a small group of my inner circle, I guess, to get their feedback on it as well, and also just to make sure that it's understood globally as well. Because even between New Zealand and America, we have different expressions that we're maybe not aware of, don't translate to another culture. So I used a lot of peer feedback through that process, too, to try and best capture this experience of moving to another country and trying to find your place in it. 00:21:45 - Jacklyn Beck That's really good that you use those different groups, because thinking about it, for me, as an American, I would write something in an American way, thinking that everyone's going to understand it, but it could land wrong. 00:22:02 - Keri Bloomfield Absolutely. And I think the biggest lesson I learned is that in New Zealand, if we're at a sports stadium, there's this phenomenon of everybody standing up and it going around. So we call that the Mexican wave. In New Zealand, I've never thought about where the name came from, but in America, it's just known as the Wave, and I think in many other countries, it's known as the Wave. And my American friend was horrified that I'd called it Mexican Wave, thinking it was a racial slur. To me, it's not a racial slur at all. It's simply the name that I have been brought up knowing that that's what it was called. So that was a really good catch in the book to make sure I'm not accidentally offending people just because of what I'm calling something without realizing the rest of the world don't do that. So that was a great learning moment as well. Yeah. 00:22:48 - Jacklyn Beck And I think we learn something every day when we're outside our comfort zone, outside our normal. It's like, I feel like I'm still learning. Even though I've been living here for ten years, I'm still learning how to live in Denmark. 00:23:00 - Keri Bloomfield Absolutely. Yeah. 00:23:02 - Jacklyn Beck We're probably still learning for this book what I could do better. And then I don't know if you're going to write your next one and what? You can do better for the next one. 00:23:12 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah. And you know what? If we don't write our first book, we can't write our second book. So you have to draw the line under it somewhere and send it out into the world so that you can get on writing your second book. And then I've always had the argument that as much as I'm proud of my book and it's resonating with so many people from around the world, whether they be living in Denmark or not, I also hope it's not my best book because I hope there's more, even better books to come. So that's the exciting thing about being an author as well, is that you can always be working on a new project and your craft of writing gets better every time. 00:23:42 - Jacklyn Beck Yeah. This one is just to start you off. Like you said, this can be your best one, but you want a better one, and then it will keep growing as you go. New ideas, new experiences. Because now I'm having new experiences because my daughter's in school experience every day. Two weeks ago, I took her to school and it was a holiday and I was like, learning. Moment learning. They don't have the same holidays as us as they do in Denmark. 00:24:08 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah. Well, she must have been excited to realize she didn't have school. 00:24:12 - Jacklyn Beck She looked at me with disappointment. 00:24:15 - Keri Bloomfield Okay. I was like, you got the rolled eyes. Eye rolling first. 00:24:20 - Jacklyn Beck I got the rolled eyes. 00:24:21 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah. That's quite common here in my house, too. 00:24:24 - Jacklyn Beck I feel like now since she's in school, that I'm like, it's going to be a learning moment every day now with her because it's a new homework that I won't understand ever. 00:24:35 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah. 00:24:37 - Jacklyn Beck What was the biggest challenge for you writing the book along the way? 00:24:43 - Keri Bloomfield I think procrastination and perfection. Those are my two biggest enemies. So procrastination, I would do my writing in the evening. So I was working during the day, and my writing time was from sort of 07:00 in the evening until bedtime, whether that be 1011 o'clock midnight. But of course you get distracted going down rabbit holes on social media. So this is part of the procrastination sitting down to write. And then you get distracted all over the place. And then perfection, too, this wanting the first draft to be the perfect draft. And everyone writes differently. But what I learned about my writing style is that I just need to get down the first shitty draft and then refine that and go through that and perfect that and really get it a piece of writing that I'm proud of as well. So if I stopped to worry about trying to perfect everything, I probably wouldn't have done everything through there as well. But I think because I did go out publicly and tell everyone that I was going to do that, I feel like a lot of those that follow me on social media, certainly in the early days, have always been in my corner. They have really been my cheerleaders. I've used them to bounce ideas off often in my stories. If I wasn't sure of something like what does an American call a push chair? Do you understand what a buggy is? That's what we call them in New Zealand and Australia. So there was all these small things that they've helped me with, so much like trying to get this well rounded language right. My book is still very much a New Zealand perspective in terms of how I've experienced Denmark coming from a New Zealand background. But there is definitely a lot of themes in there that have been felt by others and by being able to talk to my followers and get their thoughts through the process, whether it be big or small. It's, I think, made the book a lot stronger. But also it's pushed me along that process because people are saying to me have asked me through it, how's the book going? When's it coming? So that motivates me to know that other people believed in the book, maybe before I even did as well. 00:26:58 - Jacklyn Beck That's so great that you already found support without even lifting a pen yet. And I think that's what we talked about earlier, accountability, being authentic. You authentically said, I'm going to write a book. And you're like, I don't know if you felt it. It's like, oh, crap, now I have to write the book. 00:27:19 - Keri Bloomfield Oh, shit. Shut your mouth, Carrie. Like to set it. 00:27:25 - Jacklyn Beck Now I committed. Now people know I committed. But I think that's how you start. Once you start publicly announcing what you're going to do, people are going to ask about it. It's like, oh, how's the book? Where's the book going? And now you're like, okay, I opened up, now I got to do it. 00:27:42 - Keri Bloomfield And you know what? I think that's one of the advantages that we have to remember when we move to another country. We can be anything. So growing up in New Zealand, or even my life in New Zealand, people know me to be one thing. And maybe if in New Zealand I told people that I was going to write a book, they would have all nicely sort of smiled at me and went, sure, Keri, but when you find yourself in a new environment, a new country, that's your opportunity to be anything you want to be. And I think that's what I also harnessed as well, because I start to meet people, they start to learn about me in a different way than what those in New Zealand how they know me. So that was one of those challenges that I turned into an opportunity. The challenge of not knowing anyone is your opportunity to get to know everyone and be anything that you want to. 00:28:37 - Jacklyn Beck That's so true because when I moved to Denmark, like you said, there's a New Zealand carry and there's. A Denmark carry. It's like the same for me. There is a Jacklyn in Denmark, but in Denmark I'm called Jacklyn. So I was like, I'm in Denmark. I'm just going to have everyone call me Jacklyn. So I kind of like reinvented myself because I always wanted to go by Jacklyn, my real name, but I would never be able to. For all my friends and everyone, I would never be able to switch them to call me Jacklyn. But starting over in Denmark, so everyone can call me Jacklyn. 00:29:14 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah, now is your chance, right? 00:29:18 - Jacklyn Beck So that's really cool that you said that, because now you're right. Like, when you move to a new country, it's hard and everything, but it's your opportunity to be the person that you want to be. Be an author, be a business owner also, because the education is free here, so you can be a software engineer if you wanted to, if you didn't have the opportunity in your home country because it's expensive. So I like that saying. 00:29:43 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah. There you go. Yeah. 00:29:46 - Jacklyn Beck If you think if you stayed in New Zealand, do you think you'd become an author? Just keep being like a blog writer or did you always have this dream to be an author? 00:29:56 - Keri Bloomfield I don't think I would have become an author if I'd stayed in New Zealand, so I have to hold on to that and particularly on those harder than normal days here in Denmark. That's definitely something to remind myself, is that all these new opportunities are now coming my way because I have become an author. I am an author. Nothing like a Dan is out there in the world, and I'm getting the most wonderful emails from people that have read it and that it resonates and who feel like they're seen for the first time on this process. And I love receiving those emails. And whenever you read a book, always, if you loved it, write to the author. They'd love to hear from you. Otherwise it can be like a really black hole with your work out there and you're not sure who's talking about it or what people think of it or anything. So, no, I wouldn't have been an author if I'd stayed in New Zealand. Denmark or moving to another country gave me the opportunity to do that. So I'm going to continue taking that to the next level. And I hope everyone loves the next book as much as they do. Nothing like a day. 00:31:08 - Jacklyn Beck Yes. And then that one, you're already now you professed it, so you have to write the next book, public Accountability. I think with this one, it will be more on what you experience. But the next one will be is it like kind of a next step? Yeah, it's sharing the seven year mark. 00:31:33 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah, it's sharing that next phase. So nothing like a day in which this one focuses more on that first year, first couple of years when you're experiencing everything for the first time. For me, that was now seven years ago, but now I find myself in this different phase where I start to realize that I'm not as New Zealand as I once was. So I'm not Danish. And I'm no longer as New Zealand as I once was. So these things, like when this news story came out of Australia about them banning adults being nude in a swimming changing room, I start to feel myself outraged on the other side, more towards the Danish liberal approach to nudity as well. And there's all these small things that you start finding yourself doing the Danish way, like wearing yamisco, wearing schools, wearing shoes in the house. That's not typically how it's done in New Zealand. A lot of people would wear shoes in the house, which would horrify Danes. We have houses with carpet in New Zealand that would also horrify most Scandinavians as thinking that it's unhygienic. So the next book is looking at around that five to seven year mark and all the new situations I find myself in. So the humor will still be there. It's again not pitching one country against the other, it's just being honest and real. And this is what happens when you've lived in another country for a bit more of time. Your thinking and your behaviors do start to change. And it's not to say that you're falling out of love with one country or more in love with one country. It's not a competition. I keep saying to people, new Zealand and Denmark are both great countries, but neither is perfect. We can always do things differently, we can always do things better. We should always be open to hearing about how other people are doing it. And we don't need to claim that we're world leading in anything. We're all here to do the best that we can. And that's by listening to other people's experiences as well. 00:33:41 - Jacklyn Beck Yeah. And I think that helps us grow when we learn about other experience and how other people do it. When you were writing this, who was your biggest inspiration and what gave you the motivation to just take this journey as an author in Denmark? 00:34:01 - Keri Bloomfield I don't know if I had a single person in mind. I mean, I had my group around me, I had my very good friends Gina, Erin and Katrina around me who gave me invaluable feedback. And they were all writers in their own merit and content creators and artists. And they were ones who believed in me unconditionally, like on a very close level as I was writing this book, that would offer me feedback, bounce ideas as well. But I don't think I had it's not that I had one person in my mind as being my inspiration for doing this. I think for me, the success was in believing in myself more than anybody else. So not letting as much as I've had a great team of cheerleaders around me. I've also not let any negative thoughts affect me, too. You might get that look from someone when you share your dream, whether it be writing a book or something else, and you might get that little look of, okay, sure, you go and write a book, Carrie, and those moments can really affect you if you let them. So that's why I always say you have to believe in yourself more than anybody else can, more than anybody else will. And by doing that, you can achieve whatever you want you set your heart to. 00:35:24 - Jacklyn Beck Yeah. And I think the support that you created around you also helped when you questioned yourself a little bit. Correct. We talked about it earlier. That when I have that one doubt, then someone emails me. I can relate to that. We need to be able to have that kind of validation that what we're doing is helping other people, even though we don't see it physically or a message or something, or a friend just saying, Keep going, you can do, really helps you. 00:35:58 - Keri Bloomfield Exactly. External feedback is so important and so great and so yeah. I hope to people listening to your podcast, whether it be this one or another one, absolutely connect and let you know that something's resonated with them. I mean, those are the magical moments. 00:36:15 - Jacklyn Beck Yeah, definitely. And with your follow up book, I think you're also going to get more traction on that because there's a lot of internationals out there, immigrants, expats, that are now just in the middle, like, I am my culture, but now I have so many more other influences, we feel kind of stuck in them. When someone asks you, Where are you from? Oh, yeah, I'm from New Zealand, but I live here and lived here and it's like a long story. You can't straight answer. 00:36:47 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah. It's not a quick answer at all. 00:36:49 - Jacklyn Beck Not anymore. 00:36:50 - Keri Bloomfield No. 00:36:53 - Jacklyn Beck Do you really want to take the time to explain it? Or you can just say, I'm from New Zealand. 00:36:58 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah, exactly. 00:37:00 - Jacklyn Beck Explanation. 00:37:01 - Keri Bloomfield But I think it's important that we also remember that finding our place in a new country is not a five minute job. It's not a one year process, it's not a three year process. It's a lifetime journey. So it's about us slowly becoming more comfortable in our environment, slowly finding the people that we resonate. We have to remind ourselves that we, as humans, don't resonate with everybody. We resonate with some more than we do others, and that's a process to try and find them. But I think if I'm still living in Denmark when I'm 60, 70, 80, I still think that's going to be a process. Things are always changing. The longer that you live away from your country, too, things change at home, people die. So as we get to the age that I am now, the reality is when I go back to New Zealand every two years, there's someone not there that was there before. That's hard. So these moments that we have traveling back to New Zealand are very much defined, unfortunately, sometimes by death. There's literally someone not sitting around the table that was there the last time. And as you get older, that's something new that we have to balance with our lives abroad. 00:38:12 - Jacklyn Beck Yeah, it is. We're missing out. We're sacrificing something that we are so used to in our home country live abroad. Sometimes for me, I choose to do it, but it's still kind of like heartbreaking. It's like every time I get on the plane back home to go back to Denmark, I used to be so excited, but I still am excited to go back home. My own space. But still, it's like you're leaving your friends and your family. Your friendship is always there, but it's still a little bit different. 00:38:47 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah. And maybe you also experience it every time you go back. Maybe your friends group gets a bit smaller as well. Like, over time, you may still be friends with them, but life is busy, of course, and people back in your home country get on with their life. They can't just wait until you're coming back. They need to fill their life with new friends as well. So every time you go back, your circle of friends perhaps get smaller. You just end up with the very core people who are your truly unconditional friends, who would do anything for you. 00:39:22 - Jacklyn Beck And a lot of people don't understand that, especially don't live out. It took me some time to understand that my friend group is getting smaller and I always kind of was upset about it. I came 14 hours and you don't want to hang out with me? I took it personal, but now everyone has their lives. I can't just come in one day out of the year and expect them to change their whole schedule for me, which I thought they would. Yeah, if you've experienced that for you. But for me, I'm just like, I'm here and no one's rescheduling. 00:40:03 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah, but it's a two way thing, right? So I think it's okay that we're disappointed that that happens, but then we get an understanding of why it's happening, but equally on the powder of our friends in our home country. I do appreciate those who also understand my time is limited in New Zealand and I can't physically go around and visit every single friend or family member. It's just impossible. And if I was to do that, the trip would be completely unenjoyable because I'd just be running from one thing to another. So when I go back, I say, ryan, I'm going to be at this pub or restaurant this time on this day, and I would really love it if you could come. But if you can, I understand that, too. So I think it's great when your friends understand, too, that you can't drop everything and visit them individually as well. So sometimes you might not get to catch up. And I appreciate the friends who understand that and don't give me a guilt trip, I guess. 00:40:57 - Jacklyn Beck Yeah, that's the thing. It's balancing. Once you get home, is it really a vacation? Sometimes I question myself, is there really a vacation? 00:41:08 - Keri Bloomfield No, it's a different type of travel, right? It's not a holiday, it's a different type of travel. And I think, yeah, we all experience that, particularly those of us that come from further away. If you live somewhere in Europe, if you live in Germany and Spain, it's a couple of hours flight, right? It's not quite the same. You get to go back more frequently there. But I think with my book, too, as much as I hope it gives some support to other internationals living in Denmark or any other country trying to find their place in a new country for the long term, too, because that's the other point of difference. It's not an expat book. It's not about going to another country for a couple of years. This is the story of how do you create a new life and how do you make it work so that you get the most out of it as well. So as much as offering support to other people in that situation, I do hope and I do look forward to more Danes reading it as well. Because I think when it comes to integration, at the moment, the focus is on teaching foreigners how things work in another country. It's teaching foreigners in Denmark how things work, what the values are of the country, what to put on your rye bread, how birthdays are celebrated, et cetera, which is valuable knowledge. But I think the integration process could be so much better if more Locals, if more Danes were aware of our viewpoint of what it is that we find different about living here in Denmark. Because, again, unless you've lived abroad, unless you've lived in another country, you probably don't realize what it is that you do that other people find strange. 00:42:48 - Jacklyn Beck I totally agree with that, especially with the rubault thing, because I've made many mistakes of making wrong decisions on what to put on top of rubault. And sometimes Dane will say something kind of rude like, Why do you do that? There's rules on what to put on bread. Put whatever looks good. No, those don't go together. I was like, well, they taste good together. 00:43:14 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah. And why not? Why not? Let's challenge the thinking here a little bit, right? 00:43:19 - Jacklyn Beck Kind of like a joke around the canteen, because everyone's just putting random things, and then you see a Dane doing the proper things. 00:43:26 - Keri Bloomfield I was like, or you find a Dane shaking in the corner, like, going, oh, what are they doing? What are they putting on their rye bread? These crazy foreigners. Yes. 00:43:37 - Jacklyn Beck And as foreigners, we feel judged, and then all of a sudden, we're like we don't want to eat anything because exactly. You're making fun of me. Or is it a joke? 00:43:45 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah. 00:43:47 - Jacklyn Beck Then you're afraid to put what something. 00:43:49 - Keri Bloomfield Wrong on and it's how you deliver the message. Right. So that information is useful. And it's the same, I think, for me, with learning a language, there are some people that can beautifully correct me without me feeling stupid. And then there's other people who just make me feel like an idiot and like, I don't want to speak any Danish because I'm being laughed at. So I think that is something we can all do better, like, as locals in whatever country we are. So whatever country people are listening to from the world, just think about the experience of a foreigner. Just think about how they're viewing the world, because I don't think we do that often enough as locals. 00:44:28 - Jacklyn Beck Yes. It comes off criticizing more than helping. 00:44:33 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah. And it just makes you want to be that tortoise retracting in your shell, not leaving your house and having a quiet cry in the corner. 00:44:45 - Jacklyn Beck Yeah. Until the next day. You're like, It's a new day. 00:44:49 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah, that's right. I've had my happy drugs and I'm off. 00:44:53 - Jacklyn Beck Yeah, right. Because Denmark is the happiest country to live in. 00:44:57 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah, so they say. Yeah. 00:45:00 - Jacklyn Beck For any internationals. Feeling out. Feeling lost out there. Like when you first moved here in Denmark, I know your book will help, especially if they read it before they go in. But how about if there's someone that's there that already came in and didn't discover your book yet? What would you think your tip would be for anyone that's just feeling lost out there? Feeling alone, like many people do. Not just internationals, but also mothers. Once we have our kids going through the postpartum, after having the kids and everything, what would your tips would be for them? Feeling lost, especially looking for a job or anything. 00:45:46 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah, there are some things that I wish I knew and actually, I have a presentation on it. The things I wish I knew about Denmark before I moved to Denmark. So after living here for seven years, there are some things that if I could wind back the clock, that I would do differently or that I really wish I'd known about since the first day that I'd lived here. And a couple those things is language. Not accepting that all language teachers are equal. If a teaching style doesn't suit you, then look for another option there, and maybe I have found a fantastic private teacher. And she's super helpful and generous with her teachings, and she has a really great Instagram account. So maybe I'll share that link with you later and you can put it in the show notes or whatever somewhere. Because, yeah, she's just a lovely person and a brilliant teacher. So that's one thing when you're learning the language, and particularly if, like me, you hadn't learnt a language before just understand that everyone learns languages differently. And if you're not resonating with a teacher, go find another one. And then when it comes to the job market, I have only recently actually connected with another company called English Job Denmark. So go and Google that company. Leslie is fantastic, and she offers 1015 minutes sessions to kind of get you started. Because I remember everyone saying to me, it's different in Denmark. It's different, it's different. But again, coming from New Zealand, I couldn't say anything too different other than it all comes down to network. So people would everyone finds a job on LinkedIn. So that's where I spent most of my time. But if you don't know anyone in Denmark, you're not following the right accounts. Again, it's a big, horrible black hole. So try and hunt out those accounts. Use some hashtags to try and find the relevant expand in Denmark or New in Denmark, and try and get some appropriate organizations here on your feed to follow and to start connecting you with like minded people there. But, yeah, overall, accept that it's not going to be rainbows and sunshine every day, and that's okay. You're going to have your ups and downs and just keep going. 00:48:14 - Jacklyn Beck Yeah, and I understand about the rainbows and sunshine. I had my honeymoon period and that went quickly out the window. It was not rainbows and sunshine and that honeymoon period, and it's reality. Those are really great tips on finding jobs and just getting your foot settled in Denmark. Keep going and don't give up. 00:48:37 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah. And I think social media is, for good and bad, that you can find some brilliant people to follow that can give you so many helpful little pointers about how things work in social media. But also, there's some really unhelpful accounts or pages or comments out there, and you have your classic expats Facebook type group pages, and you can get really good value out of that. But there can be some really unhelpful comments on there, and it can affect your mood. And I used to spend way too much time on some of these pages. And then you start to think you're the old one because everyone else has found it easy to find a job. So don't judge yourself against other people and just remember, what you see on social media is never the full story. 00:49:20 - Jacklyn Beck No, never. 00:49:22 - Keri Bloomfield No. 00:49:22 - Jacklyn Beck It's just gaslighting everything. 00:49:25 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah. It's either gaslighting or it's just a slice of life. 00:49:28 - Jacklyn Beck Yeah. Just a little part of what people are going through. Before we wrap everything up, I just want to ask you what's your favorite part on your book that you think that everyone will get a kick out of or can really benefit? I know the whole book is probably just everyone's life, but one part that you kind of like, you enjoyed writing, and it's just going to resonate with everyone. 00:50:00 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah, that's a really hard one. I'd like to think that people will resonate with a lot of it, if not most of it. All of it in there. But there's a line in the book and when I'm talking about integration, because again, when you move here, particularly as a non EU, integration is a word that is used so much and it's in the media so much about the importance of foreigners integrating, and it can become really tarsome to hear this over and over again. And I started to feel like I haven't got the actual the complete line here, but integration begins feeling like a whitewashing of my past. So integration in Denmark can feel like a whitewashing of my past that I felt like it was this expectation that after a 24 hours plane ride, that I should get off the plane in Copenhagen and start doing everything the Danish way. 00:51:01 - Jacklyn Beck Oh, yeah. 00:51:02 - Keri Bloomfield And if I start doing that, then I'm no longer the person that I am. I'm always going to be a New Zealander living in Denmark, and that's okay. So whatever country you come from, that is okay. Of course I'm living in another country, and I'm thankful for that opportunity. And I will make and create the best life that I can and add value to people in every way that I can as well. But I'm still going to do some of these things my own way. So I hope others, I hope the locals can also learn from that as well. So I'd just like to get that balance a bit better with integration, more of a two way street and not just this one way street, which the messaging feels very much like as well. So it's maybe not the funniest moment in the book, but I think it is a really clarifying thought that I'm glad that I included in the book. And I know speaking to others, it's also resonated with them. 00:51:55 - Jacklyn Beck Yeah, I think with the integration, it's such a sensitive topic overall. So it's really nice you mentioned it on the book. So people are prepared and kind of understand it. And also that they're not alone, that they're kind of shoving Danish culture to everyone and not considering where that person came from. 00:52:18 - Keri Bloomfield Exactly. We've all got a backstory, right? So I also felt like no one was interested in my backstory. You get off that plane and no one's interested in your past. They just want to know about your future. So just remember that every foreigner has a backstory as well. And I come from a privileged position. I haven't had to leave my country because of war or something else like that. I recognize I'm privileged in that position, but I still do come with a backstory. And to be my best self in Denmark, I need people to allow me to still be a New Zealander in Denmark. 00:52:54 - Jacklyn Beck Yes. And that's who you are, that's that person. 00:52:59 - Keri Bloomfield Those first few years here in Denmark were so muddies because I was just so focused on doing things the Danish way, like learning the Danish way, thinking I had to do everything the Danish way, learning the language, that I completely lost who I was in those first few years. It's not until after the three year mark that I start to get confidence. That's when I started to write my book. That's when I started to get a bit more enjoyment in my life. Because up until then, it was really just jumping through hoops, trying to find a job, going to language school, which I found soul destroying for me because I was not at the right school with the right teachers. 00:53:34 - Jacklyn Beck Yeah. And you can breathe a little bit. 00:53:37 - Keri Bloomfield It's like oh, yes, breathing. Oh, yeah. That is the feeling when you can. 00:53:42 - Jacklyn Beck Start breathing and understand Danish and not feel lost or anything. And that moment feels so liberating in a way that's like, I found my people, I found my way. And it takes work to get there. But it's a really good feeling to just kind of slap out, relax. 00:54:02 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah. Until the next thing comes along. 00:54:04 - Jacklyn Beck Yes. 00:54:05 - Keri Bloomfield But that's life, right? That's life. That's a journey. It's full of ups and downs. 00:54:09 - Jacklyn Beck For any of the audience that want to get your book, purchase it, could you mention to them where they can get it? Now, I know you have it in audio because we were talking about it while you were recording. So where would the audience can get it and get their hands on it, either physically or order it online? 00:54:27 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah, it's in physical format. Paperback. Also an ebook and an audiobook that's just being released. If you're in Denmark, please go to your local bookshop and they will be able to order it in for you. That's the best way for me to be able to get more people to know about it is by getting the bookstores to order it in. There's also a special Denmark print edition, so you can only get that in your local bookshops or buying online from one of the Danish bookstores like Bowen Ed, but also hunt out your local little bookshop, too, because it's always nice to support the local ones. Also in New Zealand, if you're listening from New Zealand, then the best place to get it is also at your local bookshop. There's a New Zealand print edition as well for anyone else in the world. You'll find it on all the major book platforms. So it's on Apple Books. It's on Kindle. It's on Amazon. You're unfortunately not going to get the nicest print edition on Amazon, but that is where you can get the paper back and also download the audiobook. So whatever platform you're currently getting your books from, you'll be able to find it there. 00:55:36 - Jacklyn Beck And also reach out to Carrie if any of these experiences that she has resonate with you. Because it's always nice to hear that all of us are also going through that. It gets her to keep writing because right now her daughter is in school age and I'm pretty sure she's going to go through lots of more experiences. I'm actually changing my podcast name when my kids are a teenager to. My kids don't think I'm cool anymore. 00:56:06 - Keri Bloomfield You might have to change it earlier. 00:56:09 - Jacklyn Beck Right. So I know we're all going through stages in parenting our way of life in Denmark, and it's nice to hear from the audience on what you're going through because it keeps us going on either podcasting or writing more books. And I look forward. Do you know when your next book will be coming out? 00:56:31 - Keri Bloomfield No. 00:56:33 - Jacklyn Beck A year from now, because. 00:56:38 - Keri Bloomfield Today is one year of the book being out there. So being published in New Zealand one year ago today. So this time last year, I was having a launch party in my hometown, Wellington, New Zealand. 00:56:49 - Jacklyn Beck So it's a big day. And now you've announced your second one, so expect that one. 00:56:55 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah. 00:56:57 - Jacklyn Beck And lastly, I always ask all my guests, you've actually mentioned it earlier when you had your babies, like, where am I going to change them? What's the best place to take kids? Can you mention one of your some of your favorite places in Copenhagen or anywhere, even in New Zealand to take your daughter to? Because when we go to a new country, we don't know our surrounding. We don't know where to take our kids. Where would you suggest or any tips on to take kids to winhagen, or even in New Zealand? What would you say, your top three places, your daughter? 00:57:35 - Keri Bloomfield It's kind of two levels here, because in Denmark, there's two places which my daughter absolutely adores visiting, and that is Lego House and the Experimentarium here in Copenhagen, which is a science museum. So she adores both of those. But they're kind of your big ticket price. You're not doing that every week, but they are if you get the opportunity to take your children there. They're fantastic places. But on a more regional level, I guess, here in Copenhagen, some of the tricks that I learned in that first year is, first of all, playgrounds are amazing in Copenhagen, and some of them are manned, which means they have staff there that help with some activities. So hunt down there's a really good map, a really good brochure on the Copenhagen commune website. So hunt that one down to find out all the playgrounds in your local neighborhood. And then also, the last thing is if your children are very young. One of the best tips I got from actually a stranger in the library one day was that the local church run baby groups, so it might be called I forget the Danish name. Baby Song. Like Baby Songs or yeah, I forget what it was actually called at our local church. But in the mornings they'll offer a session where there's kind of a playgroup, there's coffee. And some songs for the kids as well. And through that I actually found one of my good friends that I'm still a friend with as well. So yeah, hunt that down, look in the local newspapers or just ask around to try and find those ones. 00:59:15 - Jacklyn Beck That's actually really good because I would have never thought that the local churches. 00:59:20 - Keri Bloomfield Have and again, you don't have to be a member of the church. 00:59:23 - Jacklyn Beck It's not about for the moms. 00:59:25 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah. It's about creating the community for the parents. So don't be scared off if you're not religious or you're not a member of that church. It's not about that at all. Like most things in Denmark, when it comes to religion, everyone's paying their church taxes, but they're not necessarily religious. 00:59:43 - Jacklyn Beck That's how they go to church. They just pay their tax. 00:59:45 - Keri Bloomfield Yeah. 00:59:46 - Jacklyn Beck Well, thank you so much for sharing your insight on your journey of parenthood, starting your book, and also with the places that you've brought your kids or any tips in that I know we could probably talk more, but we've been talking for almost an hour now. Is there any last words you want to tell the audience before we sign. 01:00:10 - Keri Bloomfield Off, just to keep going? It's not easy some days, living in Denmark or another country, but you will get there. And if you're feeling down, then just do your best to reach out or get out of the house. And can be as simple as going for a walk. Just get that fresh air and change the scenery. 01:00:31 - Jacklyn Beck Yeah, that's really great. It's just getting out. Even though in bad weather, go out there and get fresh air. 01:00:37 - Keri Bloomfield That's right, it's all about the fresh air. 01:00:39 - Jacklyn Beck Yeah, I've learned that moving here. Thank you so much for sharing everything. And if you, the listeners, want to follow Carrie on Facebook and also you're mostly in Instagram, right? Yeah, mostly in instagram. Give her a follow. I'll have all the links and also I'll have her links on the Amazon. Any of the links that you have your books sold on? I'll also have it on the web page, so you guys can easily click on it and purchase Carrie's book either here in Denmark, New Zealand, it seems like it's global, so there's no problem. 01:01:14 - Keri Bloomfield You can get hold of it any country in the world. 01:01:17 - Jacklyn Beck So thank you so much for sharing your story with us. 01:01:21 - Keri Bloomfield Thanks so much for having me. 01:01:26 - Jacklyn Beck How did you guys think about that interview? It was really great and it was really nice to hear that when her epiphany of starting writing this book was when she was flying home from New Zealand, it was like, wow, I need to do something. And the book was kind of like that moment where she's like, okay, I'm going to do something and I'm going to do it now. And she went off the plane and just started to think about this book. It wasn't easy or anything but it came from an idea and with the support around her, she was able to launch it a year ago, actually from today. So that's actually her one year. And this is like a whole series of books. Also with the feedback that her audience is actually sending her, it gives her even more fuel to the fire to actually just write more books because this book is resonating with so many people, even to myself, as you can hear on The Interview. And one thing I actually really like that we talked about is that we can be anything. Especially when we move to a new country, we can be anything. It's kind of like starting over. You already kind of had an identity in your home country, but when you move to a new country, you can kind of either be the same person or be something else. And you're free to do that because no one knows who you are. You're new to the country, you're trying to get on your feet, and it's an opportunity to actually be anything you want. And that actually really resonates to me because like I said on the interview, in California, I'm Jacklyn. In Denmark, I like to be called Jacklyn, just because I was like, oh, I want to reinvent myself. So I thought that was really, really cool to think that way when you move abroad or when you're feeling like you have to start over, it's like you can kind of reinvent yourself. There's so many good things that we talked about and I'm really happy that the listeners is able to still listen to my podcast. And also I love sharing people's life here on my podcast and I'm so grateful that carrie Bloomfield thank you, Carrie, for sharing your life about living in Denmark and your journey of writing this book. And I look forward to many more books from you because it seems like we do have the same age daughters, so we kind of will kind of go through the same culture shocks as our kids grow up, and we experience the same AHA moments, like, oh, my gosh, I don't understand what my daughter is going through. Because it's a cultural thing, because our culture is different. So I'm really happy that Carrie was part of this podcast and I hope you, the listeners, will get her book. All the links are on my website and I'll also make sure that the links are on my social media handles too. So I really want to push. And if you know anyone just moving to Denmark or curious about how it is living in Denmark, please share Carrie's book with them because it really describes what we go through as internationals here in Denmark. So thank you all for listening and don't forget to follow us on social media. Email us any ideas you want to hear or if there's anything that you want to email Carrie or reach out to her on social media about her book. She loves getting those, and I also do too. So thank you all for listening, and we'll will I'll be releasing another podcast next month, so have a good month, everyone. Bye.